I was wanting to post a few things tonight after I put the kids to bed. I wanted to write all about Dude's first day of 1st grade, and about the awesome friend I have the came to my rescue with a pump holder. I even have a post almost ready to show off how totally awesome (and creative) my sister in law is. But for some reason I can't get diabetes off my mind.

Actually it is always there at the forefront of my mind. It never leaves. But tomorrow we are meeting with her Kindergarten teacher and the school nurse to talk about things before she starts school next week. We also have our first appointment with the Endocrinologist since getting the pump. I am nervous.

I started to get all emotional about diabetes again tonight. This happens occasionally, but even more so when things are not going how I would like them to. Some of our problems have been my fault and that makes it worse. Like the other night when in a sleep stupor I checked her and saw that she was at like 218. I gave her insulin then realized that I am not supposed to correct her at night until she is over 250! I laid in bed the rest of the night checking her every our or so to see if she was ok. Dummy me! But that isn't all! My sisters were going to watch her while I had to work on Monday. I was trying to show them how to work her pump. She was standing right by me then I told her to go play. She ran downstairs and I continued to show them how to use it. Well, it delivered the insulin! OH CRAP! I ran down and checked her she was at 77 with 3/4 of insulin on board already from lunch....yes already crashing. To top it off I accidentally gave her 1.80 units of insulin! I had to leave so I could make it to work on time, but as I was leaving my sisters gave her some chocolate milk and cookies...I cried the rest of the way home. It all ended fine, but it is so hard to forgive myself when I do things like this. I am supposed to be taking care of her, not making it worse!

So I went back and read my posts from when she was diagnosed in November and I cried. I cried at all the comments, I cried because my emotions were so raw then and I could feel them all over again. I cried because I can't help but feel why her sometimes. I cried because I don't know that I was cut out for this job, but yet I was so humbled when she was first diagnosed. Have I lost that?

Yes, I am a little stressed. Starting school is going to kill me. I realize it is just half a day, but that is half the day that she will be away from home under the care of someone else. Sitting in a class with 25 other kids with one teacher. Sitting in a school with one school nurse that is also the nurse for 11 other schools. No one knows my princess like her mommy and daddy. We can be across the room and know if she is high or low. I fear that something will be wrong and that no one will know until something terrible happens.

I suppose you would say right now I have two choices....stop stressing about things I have no control over (my dad's famous advice) or to have another restless night while making my self sick from stress.

Can I pick right in the middle?

Are you missing me?

I have so much to post but I just can't find the time to do it.

I need to make it priority though because I miss you guys!

When I am not making really stupid diabetes choices (wait until you hear what I did today! DIABETIC MOTHER OF THE YEAR RIGHT HERE! I will get to it soon! I promise!) or going on spontaneous camping trips, or getting the kids ready to start school, or trying to get my house in order I will sit down to post.

See you soon!

I heart my blogging friends.

Ok that last post is just lame.

Sorry! Maybe this will make up for it!

I have been thinking lately that there are some really cool people out there in the wonderful world of blogging! I have truly been touched this week in more ways than one by bloggers. Can I share with you why?

Chelsea, a long lost friend and fellow blogger came to my rescue with a REALLY cool belt that she made for the Princess' pump. (I am planning a post dedicated entirely to this so stay tuned) She read I was in need and came to my rescue! I was really touched! And it is awesome! If she had the time I would say to mass produce these things! SO CUTE!

I was blog stalking the other night and came across Shamae's blog. I cried when I watched the video about her daughter having diabetes. I sent her a comment and soon after that I felt like she was a long time friend. She sent me an email about a JDRF lunch the next day and wouldn't you know it SHE WAS GOING TO BE THERE! I had the privilege in meeting her and talking with her for a bit! I felt inspired by her and can't wait to read her blog more and maybe see her at more JDRF functions! Shamae, thanks again! I am so pumped about the Walk for a Cure!

I met Tristan a few months ago through a mutual blogging friend of ours. She emailed me after realizing the my daughter is diabetic. She too is diabetic and over the last few months has sent me the sweetest emails of encouragement and help! This last week she has received a CGM and is feeling the weight of diabetes. (I don't really know that for sure, but after reading her blog I am just assuming that!) I have been touched by her strength, and by her honest caring for people like me that she doesn't even know. Go give her some blogging love! I think she could use it!

Another old friend of mine, Aubrey, is feeling the stress of being pregnant. Her last post about weight gain and pregnancy touched me. She poured out her heart and I SO KNOW HOW SHE FEELS! Aubrey, hang in there!

Also there is Jill from Diabetes Sweeties. Her daughter is celebrating her 1 year D-Anniversary and Jill is celebrating her 1 year Blog-Anniversary. I have been reading Jill's posts for awhile now and every time I do I feel empowered to not let this disease get me down. She doesn't sugar coat it (no pun intended!) but yet she makes it all apart of her life. With her anniversaries coming up I wanted to send her a shout out...THANK YOU JILL! You have helped me, and taught me more than you will ever know!

Then there is AJSMOMMY she is new to this blogging community. Her daugher was just diagnosed with diabetes. I read her last post and all the feelings of when Princess was diagnosed all come flooding back to me. I cired. Why do we get so emotional over this time in our life? Reading her post brought me back to that moment. I can't help but feel for her. I pray that she can find strength!


I have met so many other cool people that have touched my life while I have been blogging. My hubby even mentioned to me the other day that blogging has really been good for me. Through every trial in the last 3 plus years that I have been doing this, I have been helped by so many! I am grateful for this community that some may laugh at, people that I call friends, but have never met! Thank you for sharing your stories so that other may learn. Thank you for your support and help to bring me up when I feel so down!

Yes, I am bored.

For lack of excitement going on in my "real life" I am now going to post something really lame that has been on my mind lately.

My list of things that I think should grow on trees.

Yes you read that right. I have actually thought about this more times than I would like to admit lately. I will be in the middle of something and actually think "Man, I wish [that] grew on trees!" So here you have it. My list. Feel free to add any you have thought of.

money - of course who doesn't think this.

peanut butter M&M's - I NEED an ample supply of these!

dish towels - it seems that I am always in need of this. Mine are always dirty, stained, gross, etc. If I could just reach out the back door, grab a towel this would save oodles of time and energy.

sprinkler parts - how many times in one month do YOU need to run to Home Depot for parts?

balloons- the ultimate entertainment for kids.

diapers - clean and unused of course! They cost too much money and I always seem to need one when it is an EMERGENCY!

scissors- it doesn't matter HOW MANY times I put them back in the drawer they still magically disappear.

patience- If this could be bottled and available at my finger tips there would be less complaining on my part. I would most likely be drunk with daily. That is the hope anyway.

hand sanitizer - there is a community of people out there and are just like my husband, germophoebes. There would be trees placed at every entrance to any public building to put people like my hubby's minds at ease.

15 carb snacks- a 15 carb snack tree would grow any type of snack ranging from juice boxes to cookies, granola bars, anything that is exactly 15 carbs. Any diabetic or parent of a diabetic could appreciate this! That way when some one's blood sugar is low there would choice, accessibility, and less chance of a crash. Plus I am in desperate need of 15 carb snack for my storage and the school's storage. I wouldn't have to worry about paying for them if I had my own tree in the back yard.

clean clothes- disposable clothes.....maybe not the best idea, but I sure would have a lot more free time if I could eliminate laundry from my to do list.

answers- this is a little strange, but sort of like the 8 ball or a fortune cookie that gives you advice, think of a tree. This would be a little more accurate. The tree would grow answers based on the needs it over hears. I would love to ponder something out loud in the shade of a tree and be able to pick the exact answer you needed!

lunch- for some reason I am not a fan of making lunch. I never know what to make, and I get tired of sandwiches every day. A lunch tree would be full of every type of lunch food already prepared and complete with carb count.

So there you have it. My list. Enjoy!

We are in LOVE!

With the Animas Ping that is!

Everything has been going GREAT with it! Not a single tear when we change her site NOTHING! (I might have just cursed myself) She has been proving how brave she is once again!

Her numbers have been so good too. There have been a few highs but I know exactly what they are from. An air bubble one time and then there were the times I let her disconnect for a bath and running through the sprinklers. It was nothing that couldn't be controlled.

I am desperate to find some type of holder for it though. We tried to just clip it to her pants or to a belt and it comes off or pulls down her pants. She had has it 3 days and had already scratched it up. Bummer! It isn't her fault though, it is just a little heavy to clip to her pants. We ended up putting the black leather case on it to protect it, but that just makes it more heavy and pretty bulky. It will work for now. I have some ideas for holders and such but until money grows on trees I will have to make do with what I have.

Overall it has been such a blessing to have the pump. I can't believe that it all worked out the way that it did. It is exactly what she (we) needed! She loves to show it off to people and tell them how it works. I can only imagine how she feels. Without the roller coaster of the highs and lows I bet she feels much better!

I just got caught up on a bunch of posts I have been meaning to write. I will come back tomorrow to write and update on how the pump is going!

Thanks for being patient with me being a slacker!

The Citizenship Award

We got a call the other day from the school saying that Little Dude was going to get a special award called the Citizenship award in the assembly the next day. We were invited to attend to watch him receive it.

The Citizenship award is the student of the year award for his class. Each teacher picked one student to receive it. Dude got it for his class! We are so proud of him! His teacher has so many nice things to say about him. She said that we should be really proud since he is a great student and friend to others in his class. He has been taking his trophy around showing it off to grandparents and family! It is so nice to see him proud of his success!

He also received a metal for the Distinguished Bear Cub award. They receive this when they reach all the goals set for their grade. What a successful Kindergarten year!


Here he is getting his Bear Cub award from his teacher.


Here he is getting his Citizenship award from the principal. The smile on his face cracks me up. He gets goofy when he is embarrassed. Just like his mom!

What a good kid!

The Signs of Summer

BBQ With Friends

We were invited over to a friends house for a BBQ the other day. We had some great food, awesome company, the kids played great together, and best of all an entire table full of stuff for S'mores. The recipe for the perfect night!


Little Man got his clothes all wet and went around most of the night with just a diaper on. It didn't slow him down! Here he is playing in the sandbox with his "Buddy".

This is NaTasha and Matt. They were the hosts of the BBQ and honestly two of the coolest people I know!

Oh he is going to kill me for posting this picture! This is usually what I get when I tell him to smile. Such a smart alec!

The S'more table! This isn't even all of it either. We tried something new this night! It was DELICIOUS! Graham crackers with sliced strawberries, chocolate bar, and toasted marshmallow! YUMMY!

We always love sitting around a bon fire with good friends and good food! It doesn't take much for us to be entertained!

Rainy Summer

This has been one of the rainiest summers in the history of man kind. Ok maybe just as long as I can remember. The other day we had to most beautiful rainbow (as seen on every other Utahn's blog) Here is my picture of it and of the kids playing in the puddles.

This is "Buddy". These two boys are the best of friends. His mom and I went on walks every day for months before they were born. They were born 11 days apart. It is silly how well they play together too!

Family Adventure- Deer Valley Picnic

We have still been doing our family adventures, but I have been a slacker on my blog lately and haven't posted about them. I did have some great pictures of our little trip up to Deer Valley Ski Resort in Park City the other day. Daddy was going to be working up in Park City for a little bit so we decided to take a lunch and tag along.

We sat on the grass at the bottom of a ski lift, ate our lunch and played. It was beautiful! There wasn't any better place to sit and eat PB&J's and apples.





The kids had a great time playing around. The walked all over the place!



That was until Little Man's shoe fell off. Dude carried him to the grass so we could put it back on. This was a pretty tender moment. It just goes to show how much he loves his little brother!

I am so grateful for our family adventures! It has really helped us to enjoy our time together and to get out of the house. I really hope that we are making memories for our children that they will remember as the best times of their life. I know they are for me!

Toothless

We had a bunch of family here for a BBQ and for a bon fire a few weeks ago (June 19th to be exact) and the craziest thing happened. My niece pulled out her loose tooth. She just took a napkin and pulled it right out. That was it.

Well Dude had a loose tooth too, but it was his very first loose tooth and was super scared to pull it out. I had my niece show him what he did and that started the excitement. He was talking to my brother in law and he told him to tie it to a door nob and just slam the door closed. He wasn't too happy about the idea so he got scared again. My sister in law said that if it hurt him to pull it out she will give him $2. Money will motivate this kid to do almost anything so he agreed. She reached right in and pulled it out! That was it! It didn't even hurt him! He was really excited!

The bad part about all this is his cousin was talking about how she gets $5 a tooth from the tooth fairy. I kept telling him that he shouldn't count on that! Well when the tooth fairy came it looks like that is all that she had. Who knows maybe she didn't want to run to get change at 2:00 in the morning!

So here are a few pictures of the toothless dude. They were taken at 1:30 in the morning so he was being a little silly.

You know what else is really cool? His other cousin lost a tooth the next day while we were still hangin' out! Must have been the weekend for it!

A lesson in Forgiveness

This story goes back a few months ago when I went to pick Little Dude up from school. I was talking to his teacher when I felt a tug on my jacket. I looked down to this cute little girl giving my a funny look. Without hesitation she said to me "Um, just so you know, your boy has a crush on me!" Then she runs off. I have never seen dude's face a brighter shade of red! I kind of teased him about it (come on you would have too!) and asked him if it was true. The response I got of "NO!!" was more comical than anything else.

So fast forward a few months. Dude came home from school absolutely mortified. Right away he said that he was hanging on the monkey bars during recess and this same little girl came up to him and pulled his pants down! She got in BIG trouble and was sent to the principals office. He was pretty miffed! I was a little too! I have never seen him more embarrassed in my life! He came home for the next few days and talk about how she sat on the playground and cried at recess because her punishment was not being able to play. This made dude feel really bad! He hated seeing her cry.

We were talking about it one day and I told him to maybe talk to her about it. He wasn't sure what to say to her. I asked if he was still mad at her for pulling his pants down. He said he wasn't so I told him to maybe tell her that it was ok and that they could still be friends.

I hadn't heard anything more about it so I assumed that everything was ok. From the fact that he got her phone number at school today and was dieing to call her when he got home just goes to show that he forgives her, and that they in fact are still friends!

The lesson to learn here is to not hold a grudge against the one that pants you on the playground at school! Everyone can be forgiven!

Tomorrow is a big day!

There are so many things happening here at our house! I have about a gazillion pictures to share and about as many more stories.

Despite all the craziness I can't stop being nervous for tomorrow. We have our very first pump training class tomorrow morning. This has all happened a little quick. Once Medicaid gave us the approval on the pump it was here a few days later. The doctor's office doesn't really want to put her on a saline trial since she will be starting school in exactly one month. They want to have as much time on the pump before I send her off to her first day of Kindergarten (whaa!)

Don't get me wrong, I am so excited for her. But have any of you seen her? She isn't very big! I still don't know how she is going to have this attached to her all the time. How we are going to stick her with this needle (that was a little longer than I though) in any fat? She doesn't really have any! And where am I going to store the pump? I just know that if I put it in a pocket (like there would be room in there anyway, her pockets are so small) or attach it to the top of her pants her little pants (that are always saggy anyway) will fall right to her ankles. I am sure this will all get worked out over time, but all day today this is what I keep thinking about.

So in other big news our little dude's last day of kindergarten is tomorrow! FINALLY! He will have a super short summer, since he starts up again in 3 weeks! Anyway, we got a call from the school yesterday saying he was going to receive an award and it will be given to him in the assembly tomorrow (which was today. got that?) Well he was awarded the Citizenship award. Apparently this is like the student of the year award! Yea that's right STUDENT OF THE YEAR!!! There is one child awarded from each class and Dude was it for his class! I am so proud of him! His teacher had so many nice things to say about him! What a great kid I have! You should have seen him smiling ear to ear when they gave him the trophy! He also got the Distinguished Bear Cub award for reaching all the kindergarten goals this year! YAY DUDE! I just have to say that all that this family has been through this past year, I am just so glad that he has still been able to concentrate! We really are so proud of him!

So I really do need to get caught up with all these pictures I have been taking! Some will really make you laugh! I have a few stories that will make you cry too, but I will get to those last! Wish us luck tomorrow! It is going to be a big day for everyone!