The last few weeks

There has been so much going on at our house lately. It has caused a bunch of questions so I thought I would just take time to write on my blog.

First of all, I wrote that we are selling our house. This has been such a huge relief for us. I have posted this in the past so to summarize, 2 years ago my hubby lost his job. The income that he was making at that time has never been replaced. It is a tough market for his line of work (banking/financial) and it seems that financially everything has been a struggle ever since. Not to mention that 5 months after he got laid off the Princess was diagnosed with diabetes then almost exactly a year after that Little Man was diagnosed. To say that it has been a rough few years is a HUGE understatement. We have done everything we felt was right. We have prayed, we have fasted, we have tried everything, but there was still no light at the end of the tunnel. That was until we realized that the only way to get out of this mess is to start over. This means selling the house and moving in with my mom and dad to be able to get back on our feet again. As pathetic as it sounds to be in your 30's and moving your family in with mom and dad, I am actually really excited. This is the first time in a long time that I feel like there is an end in sight and that we are taking the right steps in moving forward. My mom and dad are saints to be willing to do this for us! They are amazing people and my goal is to be like them some day. Guess that just means that I need to live with them for awhile to see the example up close and personal. :)

Our house will be on the market soon. It is a tough housing market here in Utah, so we will see what happens. I really hope that after knowing without a doubt this is what we need to do that it won't take long, but I am prepared for the worst. We have been cleaning and organizing for a few weeks and that in itself is refreshing!

In other big news I quit my job. This was a tough decision for us. It is a little complicated why I quit, but again, I know it was what I needed to do. So to be honest, and hopefully brief, I quit because my kids need health insurance. We have been battling insurance issues for several months now. We had a hard time getting approved for medicaid because of our income, but because my husband is self employed they approved the younger two. After children turn 6 they are put into a different tax bracket and you have to make less money in order for them to have medicaid. We were border line before so they don't qualify after they are six. Little Dude hasn't had it in over a year, and after the end of next month Little Princess won't have it either. There is the option of C.H.I.P insurance but only if you don't have any other insurance. Right before the Princess was diagnosed I signed up for the part time insurance with jetBlue because I felt that I needed something. Turns out that is the very thing that is holding us back from getting insurance for my older kids. I contacted the benefits department at work and they wouldn't let me cancel the insurance until open enrollment, then be in effect in January. I tried to fight my case, but there was nothing they could do. So the way we looked at it, we can't take the chance of the kids not having insurance from April until January, and the only way to get rid of it at this point was to quit. So I did. It stinks, but I am also relieved.

So you see we have been busy here at our house making life changing decisions. It hasn't been easy to make so many big decisions all at once. Thankfully we are being guided and our prayers are being answered. I haven't been this happy for several months.

In between all this decision making Little Man has struggled with croup, strep, and a dislocated elbow. Poor kid has been to the doctor 5 times in 3 weeks. But he did have a birthday yesterday and I think that he has officially forgotten all about all that other stuff.

So there you have it. Life is busy as always. Hopefully I will have time to blog more in the upcoming weeks. I have so many things to get caught up on. I could write twice a day for a month and still have things to write about. Thank goodness you are all so patient with me.

" No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we do it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender, charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God...and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire."

~ Orson F. Whitney

The change of the seasons

Change is in the air and boy am I just thrilled.

It has been a long long winter. The sunshine and warmer weather has never been more welcome. I cleaned my house today with all the windows open. It is lame to say it was amazing? Maybe it was the cleaning part that was amazing....now that IS lame to say! But you know those days where you're in "the zone" and you get lots of things done and it is so refreshing? Today was one of those days!

Spring is knocking on my door, but that isn't the only change that is happening around here. The biggest one of all.....we are selling our house.

If I would have uttered those words a year ago it would have been through tears. But today I am ready. It is needed, and honestly this is the first time in 2 years that I feel like I can take a deep breath. The fight is almost done. The terms are good, and I am excited to see what the future holds. Don't get me wrong it is still hard. When we told the kids they cried and complained. They really, really don't want to leave their friends. Heck, I don't want them to leave their friends. I don't want to leave my friends here either! This choice was not an easy one and we didn't take anything lightly. But the choice was made prayerfully and with an open mind about the future. We know that this is the best option for us right now. Regardless what people say or think, we tried our hardest.

Who knows how long it will take the house to sell. It could be months. In the mean time I am working my hinny off trying to junk almost everything. Really....I took over 10 bags of garbage bags full to the DI yesterday. (Remind me to tell the story of the bank getting robbed while we where there....that was a fun experience!) Garbage day isn't for another 2 days and my garbage cans are already full. It feels great to be getting rid of excess baggage that we have been holding onto. Physically and emotionally.

Today my heart is full of gratitude for the love and support that we received along this crazy journey over the last few years. This time in our lives could be so much worse if it weren't for our amazing family and friends. I don't know how to thank everyone. My mom and dad have always told me that sometimes the only "thank you" you can give is to pay it forward and help someone in the same situation some day. This is my goal.

Croup

From the wheezing and coughing in my ear, and the "I really need a drink of water" every 10 minutes throughout the night, I kind of figured that the Little Man had the croup.

I took him to the doctor this morning and sure enough, I was right.

Because he was having such a hard time breathing they gave him a dose of dexamethasone. Wikipedia definition: Dexamethasone is a potent synthetic member of the glucocorticoid class of steroid hormones. It acts as an anti-inflammatory and immunosuppressant.

Anyone else see something familiar in that definition? You see that word glucocorticoid? The name glucocorticoid is made from 3 words (glucose + cortex + steroid). Yes GLUCOSE.

I don't need Wikipedia to tell me what the steroid is going to do to his blood sugar. Actually back in October Little Princess has the same dose and it was complete havoc on her blood sugar where it wasn't below 400 for 2 days. I fully expected them giving this to him when I took him in, but when the Pediatrician called his Endocrinologist and came back and said "The Endocrinologist wants to see him in the office on Thursday. He feels that this steroid alone could kick him right out of his honeymoon." it kind of surprised me a little. You see we caught his diagnosis so soon that we thought his honeymoon would be a really really long time. Right now the only insulin that he gets is at meal time or when he is high. Which isn't all that often. The doctor wants to see him in a few days because he feels he will have to start getting some sort of basal insulin.

Guess what this means? That he can start using a pump a little sooner than we thought. The approval has already been done for it, I just have to fill out some more paperwork. I never thought I would feel this way, but I can't wait to use the pump for him too!

So we will see after Thursday for sure, but maybe in a few weeks I might have 2 pumping kids. One with a pink one and the other with a green one. How exciting! I will keep you posted.

I am feeling super emotional today.

I am wondering again what the future brings.

I am grateful for friends showing up at my house when they knew I needed them more than I did. Turns out they were right.

I am hugging my kids more tomorrow than I did today. They need to know their mommy loves them.

I am going to try to get some sleep and eat more healthy because my body deserves it.

I am blessed that I have my hubby close by to hold me tight and assure me it is going to be ok.

I am going to look back on this time in my life and know without a doubt that it is my faith that gets me through the day.

I am thinking I need to start looking at the good in all things instead feeling like everything is a struggle.

I am meant for something great.

I am determined to find out what that is.

I will find it.