Facing a big fear and almost dying - kind of

They other day I had to go to the dentist to have some work done. This is never fun since I have had a fear of the dentist for as long as I can remember. I have been going to the same dentist my entire life. He is a great guy and a great dentist. This time I decided that I was going to see a new dentist because he was closer and also because he is a newer dentist. I have been having some pain on one of my teeth for over three years that my other dentist couldn't explain. I figured it was time to maybe see if a dentist with new technology could find something wrong. Well he did, and I had to have a 3 hour appointment to fix it. All last week, I was really scared. I really hate the dentist, but I knew that I needed to get it done. My husband kept telling me that I should get the nitrous oxide gas to help me feel better about it. I hadn't had it since I was a kid so I thought that he had a good point. So I get there on Wednesday totally scared, but excited to know that the nitrous was going to make it all better.

The nurse gets me all hooked up with a movie (Harry Potter 4) with the ear phones and the goggles to protect my eyes, and the nitrous over my nose. She turns on the gas to get me a little less scared for the shots that are to come. She leaves me to sit and breath in this stuff and to give me a few minutes to settle down. When she came back in I was so high. I have never done drugs before, but I must say that I now understand why people do them. (That was a really bad comment, but very true.) I told the dentist, just joking around might I add, that he needs to alert my husband that there is a problem if I start asking to come in once a week. I was feeling great! My kids were at the sitter, I was laying there high as a kite, and I was watching Harry Potter without any interruptions. It was great. I even started to feel a little sleepy.

They put that crazy rubber thing in my mouth and were off to work. I even started off to sleep. I was in between sleep and drugged and I started to have a dream. I was floating through some clouds, kind of playing around and having a good time. I saw this great big white light that I thought would be fun to float over to. So off I went. Well, I really wasn't asleep yet so I totally thought that I was dying. So I force myself to open my eyes and come back to life. Then I realize that the big white light I was following was not the tunnel into heaven. It was the big bright light that they shine right onto your face. Being in a half normal, altered state of mind, I was a little realived that I was dead, but I was starting to have a panic attack anyway. I was a little TOO high at this point. The nurse noticed and then told me she was going to turn down the gas.

Still drugged I sat there totally afraid to go to sleep. So I did everything that I could to try to stay awake. I don't remember what the dentist and the nurse was talking about, but I remember trying to laugh. I heard what they said and I thought to myself "did they really just say that?" Then I started to think about my "near death experience" and all that crap that I had on my face and I started to get all claustrophobic. As a kid I used to have really bad problems with being claustrophobic. And here it was again. I stated to have another panic attack. I am sure that the dentist thought that I was nuts, but I was really feeling it. The room also started to spin and I was getting really sick. So they let me sit up and breath oxygen. Oh what a relief! I wasn't going to die!

So after all that and four hours later, I was able to leave. I still hate then dentist and my mouth is really sore still, but I learned something about myself that day. I would make a really bad drug addict.