2010 Can Suck it.

No really it can.

It wasn't what I would call one of my better years.

My sister in law Jennifer has a funny little way of looking at the new year. Her theory is this "Whatever you do on the first day of the year represents how the rest of the year will be like." She spends all December long cleaning and organizing her house to make sure it is free from clutter on Jan. 1st. She is hoping that this will bring a clutter free home all year long. Her mother in law cooks and bakes yummy things for her family all day. Her hope is to have plenty for her family all year long. I thought this was an interesting way to look at things, but she swears by it, and says that it actually works.

Well, last year I thought I would give it a chance. I tried to clean my house, and I planned to do the things that I love the most on the 1st. The truth is though, as the hour approached to ring in the new year I was feeling so much anxiety. We had had a rough couple of years and I wanted so badly to be able to put it all behind us and move on. Problem was, I just didn't feel like it was over. I could tell that the worst was yet to come. I cried as the clock struck midnight.

I have spent the last 365 days on an emotional roller coaster.

2010 brought more stress than I thought I could handle. With still not making ends meet financially, battling insurance issues, quitting my job, 2 kids living with diabetes, selling/almost loosing our house, moving in with my parents, loosing my brother in law, finding out my sister in law will be raising her baby without his daddy, the kids rebelling/adjusting to our new living arrangements, giving our car back to the bank, the hubby back in school full time, and also trying to keep my emotional, unstable little self sane and out of the loony bin. Whew, just typing all that out made my blood pressure rise a bit. See why I can say 2010 can suck it?

So here I sit with 45 minutes to go until midnight. Ringing in 2011 isn't as ideal as I would like. My little portion of the basement is cluttered, I don't have any grand plans for tomorrow, my hubby is a little stressed out (the kids have been extra hyper tonight), and I haven't written a single resolution yet. Surprisingly I am feeling great. I do feel like the worst is behind us now. 2011 is the year of renewal. The year to break bad habits. The year to move on more improved than any other time in my life. The only way I want to spend January 1, 2011 is to be relaxed, loving, and happy. I don't think that's too much to ask for 2011 do you?