Taking a look back.

Little Man's birthday is on Monday. I can't believe he is going to be 4! I know every year on any of my kids birthday's I say that. It's true though. The time seems to be flying by faster and faster. I really hate it!

I am trying to get some pictures together for his VIP poster for preschool. Well guess what? I don't have any. I had them all on my laptop and an external hard drive that died. We backed up what we could and I THOUGHT I had them. For some reason I can't find them. I have two external hard drives sitting here WITH NOTHING ON THEM! I am almost to tears. This would be the 3rrd time they would be lost if they really are, gasp, lost for good. :(

So I am stuck looking back on my blog in hopes I can copy some pictures off it to print some for the poster. I started way back to my posts in 2007 when little man was born. I started reading the posts from the days before he was born. Then "IT" happened. I got all teary eyed thinking of how much my kids have grown up. Looking at the pictures is supposed to make me happy isn't it?

I want to be happy, I do. I am proud of my kids. They are good kids. It's just when I look at them I feel an extreme amount of guilt. I see pictures of Little Dude and remember things that have happened when he was so little and think "Oh I expected so much of him. He was just so little. How could I have done that?" I see pictures of the Princess and can't help but think she was so carefree. Diabetes didn't plague her life back then. Pictures of Little Man make me feel sad to think that maybe I didn't cherish every moment long enough. I almost don't remember...

Thinking about all this is hard enough and now thinking that I don't have copies of these super cute pictures of my kids makes me heart hurt. REALLY bad. If I can barely remember now, how will I ever remember without the pictures.

With that said. I am going to copy and repost some of these pictures that have brought tears to my eyes today. I will post a link to the original post so you can head back into time with me.

~Little Princess and one of my favorite moments with her. Watching her play dress up. Check out the original post for more adorable pictures

~Little Man and his blessing pictures. He was so little and handsome. Here is the full post.

~Little Dude learned to ride his bike so fast. I knew this was going to be something that he loved to do. Original post
~Little Man has always had the best smile. One day I just wanted to take pictures of him, he had just turned 6 months old. I can't help but smile when I see this face. Who knew diabetes was going to effect his life too. :(

This photo shoot for our Christmas cards was a very difficult one. I remember being so frustrated. Looking back I should not have been so hard on them. I went home thinking I didn't get a single good picture. Well I was wrong THESE pictures turned out to be one of my favorite ones we have.

~Little Dude has always been such a big helper from such a young age. This is him helping remodel the bathroom at the age of 4.

I could do this all day long, but I guess you will have to just check things out on your own. I do want to post one more.

~This is an experience with Little Dude that I think about often. He and I were having a rough day. I am forever grateful for my inspiration to handle things in a little different way. Check out the story.