Friday, August 31, 2007
I have one problem though. In exactly 1 hour and 15 minutes it is the beginning of a new month. I have a gift card for Kohl's that is burning a hole in my wallet. My hubby needs new work shoes, my niece is having a birthday on Sunday, and I am having withdraws! I have been holding off for days just to say that I went one month, but I am dying to go. So what do I do?
Tomorrow we will have to see if I have any will power at all. Wish me luck!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
I have always had this small problem with not giving myself enough credit. I look at myself as a mother and always think that I could do a better job, or even that in the short lives of my kids that I have already failed in teaching them in somethings. It doesn't stop there though. As a photographer I always think that I am not good enough, and I get jealous of people that are just starting out and are way more talented than me. After every photo shoot I look at some of the pictures and just want to give up because they are not as good as I had hoped.
In almost everything that I have ever tried playing guitar, singing, photography, and any other type of art that I have tried to pick up on, I have given up at some point because I totally lack confidence in myself. I see other people that are better than me and I feel as though I can't compete.
I know that I will never be perfect. I know that if I love to do something that I shouldn't compare myself to someone and just give up. I know that as a mom my faults are things, that in some ways, can be worked on and repaired. I know that my kids still love me and that I haven't really failed. But even though my brain knows these things, I am not sure that I have convinced the rest of me.
I try really hard every day to remember my late friend Kirsten's advice to "not look at other people and think they are better than you. They are all looking at you and thinking that if you can do it so can they. Behind closed doors things are different, and the people that you seem to think are perfect really are not what you think." (Man do I miss her!) The hard part about it for me though, is not really wanting to be like other people because I am truly happy for other people that are wonderful moms or talented and artistic people, I just need to find how I can just be happy and proud of myself and what I can do. How does someone build confidence? How do I get past the point of wanting to give up when I feel like I am not good enough?
Sunday, August 12, 2007
First the little man is a little over 4 months old. He loves to smile and is starting to grab onto EVERYTHING! He is still such a good baby and really puts up with a lot from his older brother. I took this picture of him almost a month ago, but he hasn't change much in a month. Maybe a little bit more hair, and a few more chubby rolls. He is getting big fast! He giggles a little bit, but it takes a lot for him to do it. He is so content with just sitting back and watching what is going on around him.
Next is the crazy older two. They both started school last week. It is so hard for me to believe that they are old enough to write their names and stuff. Little princess writes her name B-O-O so my sister and I have decided that she does look a little like Boo from Monster's Inc. and she can also be a boob when she doesn't get what she wants so we think it fits here well! She is learning SO fast and absolutely loves school.
Little dude likes school too, but he thinks that playing with his best friend Nathan that lives down the street is the most important thing in the world. I am grateful that he has found a great best friend though! He is doing great in primary (finally) and hasn't made his teacher cry in weeks. Every day he acts more and more like his dad by playing a joke, wanting to dig in the yard or just by some of the things that he says. He too is growing up fast.
My hubby has a lot going on too. He just back from a week long business trip to Chicago. I am SO happy to have him back! When he got back home he was able to baptize my nephew. It was so awesome to see! Then the next day he was called to the Elders Quorum presidency, then he went to work that next Monday and was offered a new position. So he will be starting at a new branch this next week as the Branch Manager. He will be busy, but all of these things will be great experiences for him.
Then there is me. I feel like I have been really lazy most days, but every day there is still lots to do. I have been slowly working myself back into taking pictures. I wanted to take it easy this season because of having the baby, but I started to miss it. I have worked with my friend Holly for so long, and I still plan too, but I started to have things set up for myself because people have been asking me aside from what I do for Holly. So I came up with a business name, and set up a proofing site, and I have even booked a few weddings. If you are interested in seeing my proofing site here it is. There isn't too much there yet, I have so much to process, but it is still a little fun. I even set up a Lasting Moments Photography blog, but haven't done anything with it yet. Maybe soon I will get to it. I have also been working on so many things for the Young Women. I love my calling, and I love working with the girls, but man do they keep me on my toes! So pretty much between those few things and getting Little Dude to school on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and getting Little Princess to school on Tuesdays and Thursdays, then having the baby to look after I have been a little busy. So I hope you now all know why it has been so hard for me to post. I will make a little more of an effort though, I really miss hearing from all my friends!