Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Yes, I am still alive. Kind of!

I am still here. I am still feeling pretty dang crappy! There are a few moments when I am feeling ok, but they quickly turn into moments where I am in tears again because I feel just that bad. Oh well, it is what I signed up for I guess.

My first appointment is tomorrow (Thursday) and I am really looking forward to it. I am excited to hear a heartbeat, find out when my real due date is, and mostly if there is anything that will help me feel better. This is a new doctor though. I have only seen him once a few months ago, so I am a little nervous. I had my other two kids with a doctor that I knew well, and that I really trusted. Going to someone new is a little hard for me. It will be at a different hospital, with different opinions and routines. I sure things will go ok though. I just have to learn to trust my instincts.

In non-pregnancy news my little dude starts Preschool next week. I am excited to go buy him his first backpack. He will feel so big and I am sure that we will hear all about him being a big boy now. I went to meet his teacher yesterday and I think that he is going to have a great year!

My little princess is convinced that since her brother is going to school she will be going too. Except she thinks that she is going to Princess school. When asked what you learn there she says "You learn about shoes, makeup, and painting toenails." Looks like she is a fashion guru in the making.

One last thought that is not related to anything or anyone~
Always be true and honest! Live your life in such a way that your integrity is NEVER questioned.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Maybe if I was throwing up I would feel better

When I was pregnant with my son and my daughter I never got sick. I never had morning sickness nor did I ever throw up. I always felt really lucky. Well now, I have been SO nauseous that I can't hardly do anything! It isn't just for a little while. I am so nauseous ALL the time. All day long and it keeps me up at night. I still haven't thrown up, but I almost wish that I would. If there is a chance that it will make me feel better, then I am ok with it! ANYTHING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!

I feel really bad for my family. I feel that I have been so lazy. I can't make food because it makes it worse. Doing the dishes makes it really bad. I have been so tired that I haven't done much around the house either. It actually bring tears to my eyes to think that there could be a few more weeks or even months of this! I can't handle it and I don't know what is going to make me feel better.

I feel that my family has been suffering because of me. It makes me so sad when it is 2:30 in the afternoon and my kids are begging for lunch. Or that my husband comes home from work to a messy house, grumpy kids, a sick wife and has to think about something to make for dinner. He usually has to get them into bed too because I am sitting in the tub trying to feel at least ok. If I could just not be sick for a little while so that I can do some of things on my long list of demands I would feel better emotionally. I wouldn't beat myself up for feeling selfish. I wouldn't have to rely on my kids and hubby to do everything. I would feel that I can actually do something than feel sorry for myself.

Sorry for the depressing post, this has been really getting to me. Since there is nothing that I can do about it, I have to try to share my feelings and give it a chance that maybe I won't cry about it anymore.

My hat goes off to anyone that is violently ill while being pregnant! You are more of a trooper than I am.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

High Alert

Here at our household we were on high alert all night last night. I am not sure that anyone got any real sleep. Well, I know for a fact that I didn't. For me it all started right before I went to bed. I opened up the pantry door and a mouse ran in front of me and across the kitchen floor. I screamed! My hubby and kids yell to me to tell them what was wrong. I told them that I saw a mouse and that it just startled me. Hubby set up a mouse trap, but little princess wanted to catch it for me to make me feel better. So the kids started asking questions about the mouse. We kept hearing things like "I don't want to go to bed, I don't want the mouse to come into my room." It took the kids a bit to settle down and realize that the mouse would not be going into their room.

There had been lightning and thunder all night and my little princess is so scared of it. She was having a hard time trying to sleep even though it had stopped. Both kids kept climbing into our bed to cuddle because they where scared. At about 2:30 I got up to go to the bathroom while my hubby put the kids back into their own beds. While I was in the bathroom I heard a "knock, knock, knock." I didn't think much of it because it was really soft so I thought that it was my hubby putting the kids back in their beds. But I heard it again. I got back into bed and my hubby said that he hadn't heard anything. So I tried to go back to sleep but I kept wondering what it was.

Just a few minutes after I got into bed we hear our garage door move! My hubby jumps out of bed and yells for me to get the police on the phone and he is going to go check things out. I WAS SO SCARED! Someone was breaking into our garage and kept knocking on the door! I totally thought that it was the idiot that stole my purse and was coming back for more. I thought that they were going to knock on the door and break in if no one answers. (Anything is possible when you think that you are being robbed and it is the middle of the night.) So my hubby runs down stairs and makes sure that all the doors are locked, while I call 9-1-1.

"9-1-1 what is your emergency?"

"Someone is knocking on our door and moving our garage up! I don't know if someone is breaking in!"

"What is your address we will get someone right over?"

I tell them the address while you can hear my hubby yelling downstairs.

"Who is there?"

No answer

"Who is there?"

Hears a mumble

"Who is it? Come to the front door!"

Meanwhile the dispatcher on the phone is listening to my hubby yelling thinking that there is a fight or something going on. Finally I hear my hubby yelling to me that it is Brian from across the street. He opens the door and starts talking to him. I tell the guy on the phone that is was the neighbor and that I think everything is ok.

"I think he was just trying to tell us that our garage door was open. Sorry, it really freaked me out!"

"That is ok, we get it all the time!"

Well, I guess that our neighbor had just got home from work and saw that we left our garage open. Another neighbor across the street had a car stolen from their garage just a few months ago. So Brian was worried that something was going to get stolen from our garage. He was trying to knock to not wake up our kids. But by us yelling and freaking out they were already awake!

So there you have it! Why we were on high alert all night. Every little sound and every little move woke me up and made me think that we were being robbed. And to top it off I could swear that I heard that dang mouse squeaking in the kitchen all night!

Friday, August 11, 2006

Gotta Flush

Most parents don't have to call poison control ever while their kids are young. Me however, I have called twice in the last year. The first time was when my little dude was playing in the back yard and ate one of those mushrooms growing in the grass. I thought that those things being poisonous was a myth. Guess what, it isn't! They are dangerous, but he didn't eat the kind that was. Thank goodness!

The second time that I had to call was last night. My kids wanted a treat. I told them no. So what did they do? Get into the Vitamin C bottle and ate half the bottle. We assume that they had about 30,000 ml of Vitamin C. That's a lot! The guy at poison control said that we needed to keep them awake (it was bed time) and flush out their systems. So until almost midnight we kept the kids awake trying to get them to drink as much as they can! Then the rest of the night I was up helping them pee!

One last thing you should go visit my new friend Becky and give her good wishes! She just found out that she is going to have a baby in April. Just like me! But they have been trying for a few years, so this is great news for them!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

More pictures of my kids having a fun summer

I promised them and so here they are. You can check out the picture slide show of our trip to Idaho and also our trip to the Zoo here. I think the kids are having a fun summer, but I can feel it winding down. This makes me a little sad, but excited for the road ahead. The change of season brings lots of new changes. Our lives are going by fast, and the kids are getting bigger by the minute. I am so grateful that I have taken tons of pictures to help remember the times that we share together.

Things are going better this week. Other than smashing my finger in my cursed jeep's door, things are actually going great! My hubby and little princess have been feeling a little under the weather, but this makes for a few much needed lazy days for the whole family.

I am actually starting to notice that I am pregnant now. This sucks a little because I am maybe only 5 weeks along. I tried on two pairs of my jeans the other night and they didn't fit. This baby will be well padded if we are going to start this early. Also the other two times that I have been pregnant I haven't been able to eat one of my favorite foods, onions. They make me really nauseous. Well, I ate them yesterday and I was on the verge of throwing up the rest of the day. Also almost anything can bring tears to my eyes. Things ranging from a song on the radio, to something my kids have said or done to this story on the news. Yup it is going to be a long road if all this is going to start now.

Well good luck to all as your week goes on. We will be praying here for a quiet and calm week!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

One of the worst days in history!

It all started when I had to go get the oil changed in my jeep this morning. I was the only customer in the entire building and they still took over an hour to get it done. This only made me mad because I had somewhere that I needed to be, and they totally made me miss it. Also the kids where bored and into everything there.
Then I had a quick few minutes to get home and get the kids some lunch before we headed out again. I was going to take the kids to their Aunt's house while I go and do a wedding shoot at the temple. I was running a little late, but was able to make up for missed time with little traffic across town. I was able to drop off the kids and make it to the temple in just enough time.
The bride and groom came out and it started to rain just as the pictures where starting. We where able to work our way through it and we got some really cute pictures. After we were done with the pictures, I went and got into my jeep. I then realized that the passenger side window had been shattered and my purse had been stolen. I started to freak out. I kept thinking that this couldn't be happening. About 5 years ago my car was stolen and it had my purse in it then too. It was a disaster then because they used checks and and credit cards before we could cancel the accounts. So all I could think about was that I was going to have to go through all that again, and the fact that my Ipod was in it too. *SAD, I just got it a few months ago* I started to cry. I didn't know what else to do. I was so mad. It is the worst feeling to be robbed.
Well, I ended up waiting around for the police for what seemed like forever. Really it was 2 hours. WAY too long in my book, but whatever, they have bad guys to catch right? The grounds keepers at the temple came and broke out the rest of the window and cleaned it all up so I could drive home.
On the ride home it took everything I had to not have a breakdown in the car. To make things worse, I sat in traffic on the freeway for about and hour and a half because the freeway had been just been closed down for a car accident. I guess that a semi truck rolled over and was blocking all the lanes. It made me miss my next meeting that I had this afternoon. I also found out on the ride home that the idiot that stole my purse did actually use my debit card at a gas station. I can barely afford my own gas let alone a thieves gas! I was even more furious! What a mess!
I was so stressed and so mad that I really thought that my head was going to explode. I had the worst headache and I was in the worst mood! When I went and got the kids they were being grumpy because they could tell that I was grumpy! They fought the entire rest of the ride home! I could not take it anymore!
I was a little worried to go to my sister's baby shower tonight because I was in such a rotten mood, but wouldn't you know that it is the exact thing that made me feel a little bit better.
I can look at it now and know that I am blessed. It could have been tons worse. I also know that something good will come out of it. These types of things always happen to me and something good always comes out of it. I am thankful for my loving family to help me smile and keep me focused on the good things in life. Without them I would be ready to kill the world right now!