Sunday, August 20, 2006

Maybe if I was throwing up I would feel better

When I was pregnant with my son and my daughter I never got sick. I never had morning sickness nor did I ever throw up. I always felt really lucky. Well now, I have been SO nauseous that I can't hardly do anything! It isn't just for a little while. I am so nauseous ALL the time. All day long and it keeps me up at night. I still haven't thrown up, but I almost wish that I would. If there is a chance that it will make me feel better, then I am ok with it! ANYTHING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!

I feel really bad for my family. I feel that I have been so lazy. I can't make food because it makes it worse. Doing the dishes makes it really bad. I have been so tired that I haven't done much around the house either. It actually bring tears to my eyes to think that there could be a few more weeks or even months of this! I can't handle it and I don't know what is going to make me feel better.

I feel that my family has been suffering because of me. It makes me so sad when it is 2:30 in the afternoon and my kids are begging for lunch. Or that my husband comes home from work to a messy house, grumpy kids, a sick wife and has to think about something to make for dinner. He usually has to get them into bed too because I am sitting in the tub trying to feel at least ok. If I could just not be sick for a little while so that I can do some of things on my long list of demands I would feel better emotionally. I wouldn't beat myself up for feeling selfish. I wouldn't have to rely on my kids and hubby to do everything. I would feel that I can actually do something than feel sorry for myself.

Sorry for the depressing post, this has been really getting to me. Since there is nothing that I can do about it, I have to try to share my feelings and give it a chance that maybe I won't cry about it anymore.

My hat goes off to anyone that is violently ill while being pregnant! You are more of a trooper than I am.


MommyOutOfControl said...

Oh my goodness do I feel for you. I had hyperemesis while pregnant..the whole 9 months. You WILL get past this, but you may need some help. Zofran works wonders on the nausea, and is safe during pregnancy. Talk to your doctor...if you have morning sickness it is normal, but if you can't do anything at all because of it, then it is not normal. Get some help just so you can feel better about yourself at least! It is so hard, I remember. Hugs.

Becky said...

you poor thing! i wish i could come over and HELP you out....but we'd be a pair because I've started to feel the same way! The last couple of days if I haven't eatten in awhile I get to feeling woozie. I found with my previous pregnancies that if i try to eat several small bland meals then i feel a little better. the only thing is that i know what i'm eatting IS NOT HEALTHY!!! poor baby!

i really hope you feel better soon. 2nd tri will be here before you know it and then you'll be able to enjoy this pregancy.

Katkat said...

That is awful I was sick until 14 weeks. My Dr. told me once that being pregant for the for trimester feels like chopping wood for hours on a rocking boat.
You can do it!!!! Jamie's right Zofran really helps. Just take your time and know that your family loves you.