Looking for Santa.

I left my computer unattended for just a few minutes.

When I came back I saw my kids all huddled around my computer looking at it. I asked them

what they were up to and this is what I found typed into the google search bar....

"wer is sata"

You know... Where is Santa?

Christmas time is the best don't you think?

Work Hazzard.

One of my favorite parts of my JetBlue training class when I first got my job was when security came in and talked to us about why airports have certain rules and what terrorists have tried to do in the past. I know this sounds crazy but honestly I was appalled by how people would try to blow sometime up, or how they would try to smuggle prohibited items onto the aircraft. All I could think is that there are some CRAZY people in this world.

In part of that training they handed out yellow cards to everyone that had a list of questions on it. Questions like Where is it right now? What does it look like? Did you place it? and my favorite What will cause it to explode? This is a Bomb threat card that is intended to be placed by every computer in case of someone calling in a bomb threat. I got the card and neatly tucked it into my desk and thought "OH I am never going to need this."

Well yesterday when I actually received a bomb threat at work the last thing I was thinking about is that crazy yellow card.

It was my last call of the day and I answer with me same "Thank you for calling JetBlue. This is Shannon how can I help you today?" and the person on the other end of the phone started telling me about JetBlue flight #___ going from ___ to ___ today will have a bomb on it. (I will not put the flight info in here just to be safe but she did say very specific which flight.) Then she repeated it again. My tired little brain was trying to process what she just said "did I really just hear what I thought I heard?" Crap! That is exactly what I heard. I started to say something but she mumbled something to me really fast then hung up. The phone call was exactly 19 seconds long.

I panicked.

I reported it like I was supposed to. Then shut down my computer and went upstairs totally shaken. I figured that most likely it was a hoax, or someone that was really mad, but I kept thinking what if it wasn't? Well, I did what I was supposed to do and that was that.

Or so I thought.

A little while later I got a call from Security saying that they had reviewed the phone call and they are taking it very seriously. (they have to even if it is a hoax) She asked if I was ok. I told her I was shaken, but I was alright. Then she said (as a joke I might add) "how does it feel to have been called a nasty name by a terrorist?" WHAT??? I must have missed that. She said that at the end when she was mumbling something she called me a nasty name. I had no idea I was still trying process what had happened. Kind of funny if you ask me though.

I was a little nervous all day. I kept checking on the flight to see if it was ok. I knew my nerves weren't going to calm down until it landed safely. It looked fine all day right up until it was supposed to depart then it was delayed. It got a little bit more delayed while in the air, but it did arrive safely.

And I was able to go to sleep sound knowing I foiled a terrorist plan.....ok maybe not.

Low

One year ago (almost to the day) we experienced a low blood sugar of 29 and I hoped to never ever see that number again.

Well today I was working when Little Dude came down and without a saying a word (he knows he will get in big trouble if he says anything while I am on the phones) he wrote on my white board next to me that said.....

Princess (well her real name) 29

I put my phone on mute and asked him if that we her blood sugar. He said it was but daddy was taking care of it.

I had a break after that call so I ran upstairs to see what happened. Apparently after her breakfast the Princess got into the bath. When she had gotten out of the bath she yelled to her daddy to come get her dressed. He was in the middle of something so he asked her if she could do it herself. I guess she yelled back to him that she couldn't and she needed him to test her. He said he went into her room and she was laying on the floor naked, still soaking wet, and not really moving. He tested her and she was at 29.

I hate lows like this. They are so scary! It took her a little while to start feeling better, but the image of her laying naked on the floor not able to do anything is haunting my brain. The what ifs won't stop. I have kept a close eye on her all day since her day has been filled with lows.

The little turkey knows it too so guess what she did this evening? We were headed out somewhere and I was trying to round up the kids. I couldn't find her. Her coat and shoes were still out but she was no where to be found. I started to panic that she was passed out somewhere and started to yell her name and looking all over for her. When I walked into the hallway she opened the closet and came out. She thought she was being tricky to play a prank on mommy. I laughed, but I had to tell her how I really was worried about her. Silly girl.

The Circle of Friends Award

Oh, I am so lucky to have been tagged by two friends for the Circle of Friends Award. Thank you Meri and Shamae!

In accepting this award I need to list 5 things that I am grateful for. This list is easy to come by since I have so many things I am grateful for! So in no particular order here is my list.

1~ My Hubby. I am grateful for his sense of humor, and his love of movies, baking, gardening and canning. He picks up the pieces when I feel overwhelmed. He works very hard for this family and everything that we have. He holds me at night and plays with my hair while he trys to fall asleep, and I love it. Everything about him makes me grateful that we will be together for ever.

2~ My kids. I love how creative and fun they are. I love that they still like to cuddle and I love that they are always trying to make each other laugh. They are always on the move, but I am grateful that they would rather be outside playing (even when it is 9 degrees outside) than sitting in the house playing video games. They are helpful and thoughtful too. I have learned a lot from my kids and I am grateful they were sent to our family.

3~ The rest of my family. I can honestly say that I wouldn't be where I am today without them. They have helped me in so many ways. Each one of them are an example to me in some way. I cherish each relationship I have with them.

4~The Gospel. My testimony is what assures me that I am not alone in my trials. There is a greater plan for me and my family and without that knowledge I don't know how I could go on.

5~ The D-mom community. They have shed tears with me when Little Man was diagnosed. They have sent supplies to me when I refused to use the horrible infusion sets. They send me comments and messages of encouragement at the times I most need it. They have offered advice and support beyond measure. And they have laughed with me when it is time to stop crying and look at the joy in life. Diabetes isn't something that I thought would be a part of our family, but I won't change these friendships for the world.

Now it is my turn to award 5 people.

Tristan

Tracie :)

Greg and Angie

and I just checked and all the other D-mom's have been tagged....if I have missed you, please consider this your official tag.

Insurance

Alright so I have some good news and bad news about our insurance issues. I know most of you may not really even care, but I know there are some that will rejoice with me!

First let me start off by saying that we are in the middle of trying to get qualified for insurance again. I woke up half way to a panic attack early this morning. I had been dreaming about insurance issues and stuff so it must have sent my body into fight mode. Crappy thing is that it is real life stuff that I was dreaming about...I wish it were a dream. So really the panic hasn't really gone away yet. I am so paranoid that we won't have insurance again after the end of this month! This is where I need to learn to have more faith! It will work out. I know that it always does.

Anyway back to the good and bad news.

The bad.

We have been trying to get Little Man a pump before the end of the month. Not that he is ready to use it, but just so we will have it in case we don't get qualified for insurance. We thought things would be ok until I got a call saying that they require 3 months of glucose logs showing that we test him more than 3 times a day. Since he was diagnosed in November we have to wait until February to get the pump. This is where I am praying and praying and praying that we have insurance after this month!

So on to the good.

In that same phone call I was telling the lady about the Dr. note that I have stating my Little Princess can not use the infusion sets the insurance will cover. I really just wanted to know where I needed to send it to. She told me that they initially did it to save money but they have since realized that it wasn't saving any money in the long run. The infusion sets only last 2 days so they were needing to pay for more supply and this wasn't saving them money. PLUS (get this!) They had SO MANY COMPLAINTS about the pain, bruising, and bleeding that they were causing that they realized they needed to change back! YAY! They do have a heart! So this means that the insurance will now cover the GOOD infusion sets again! We are so happy! But again... this isn't going to do me any good if I don't have insurance next month! BUT STILL YAY!!!!!

Mommy Going Crazy....a year at one glance.

I was sitting here tonight reading some of my older posts. I love doing that. I love being taken back into my own history. Things get forgotten as time goes by so to step back into that time and place again is refreshing to me. I quickly realize how far we have come, how blessed we are, and how time is so so precious. This is the reason why I blog people! It is my personal history.

So much has happened this year. I still don't quite know how to feel about all of it yet. So many things haven't worked themselves out yet. Then there are those things that I can clearly see why they happened. I see the highs and lows and I am not sure where I stand most of the time. But then I look to my right, then to my left and I see my amazing husband and my adorable kids right there next to me. That is all that matters. Who cares where we are on the path, as long as we are all traveling together right?

As I mentioned before this year has been full of emotion, trials, blessings, and miracles. With the new year right around the corner, and the celebration of the first 10 years of our family coming soon, I felt that we needed to honor 2009 and the lessons learned within it. By doing so I want to share with you my favorite post of the year.

~Impromptu. Posted on Jan. 19, 2009

~When I was a kid... Posted on Feb. 19, 2009

~Never Never Land vs Reality Posted on March 16, 2009

~She can do it. Posted March 24, 2009

~The Office. Posted on April 9, 2009

~I know you were all dying to know. Posted April 10, 2009

~Tis the season for baseball. Posted May 1, 2008

~It broke my heart. Posted May 5, 2009

~Struggle. Posted June 1, 2009

~Weekly Bon Fire. Posted June 25, 2009

~Family Adventure -Deer Valley Picnic. Posted July 6, 2009

~This Girl Has a Story. Posted on Aug. 4, 2009

~Him. Posted Sept. 15, 2009

~Sundays. Posted Sept. 20, 2009

~Simple but true. Posted Oct. 6, 2009

~The Anniversary. Posted Nov. 11, 2009

~The Day Actually Came. Posted Nov. 16, 2009


Each of my posts have a special meaning to me, but each post on this list means so much more.

I am really looking forward to 2010. It might be a little too early still, but I am going to say it anyway....2010 is "THE YEAR". You know THE year for success, for health, for hopefully a little less stress, a little more learning, a lot more loving and tons more giving back. And if not, then I will forever be grateful for what I learn along the way with whatever happens.

The endo went well today. It seemed we were there forever and I kept my cool the entire time.

Here are the stats:

Little Princess
She is always high. Always. So in the last few weeks we have changed everything. Her carb ratios, her basal rates, and her correction amounts. It seems nothing works. Her A1c is now 8.3. Higher, but it could be worse. And like I said before, I totally saw this coming. We just have to keep changing things until we get it right. The doctor assured me that it isn't anything that we are doing wrong. It is just because she is coming out of (or is officially out of) her honeymoon stage.

We talked again about the infusion sets. He said there is another patient of his that is having the same problems. He wrote us a letter to provide to the insurance company stating that we can't use the other ones because it causes bleeding, redness, bruising, and more frequent changes. He said that if that doesn't work he will see what else he can do. This was pretty good news to me!

Little Man
He is still doing good. His A1c is 5.8. Pretty dang good! We caught the diagnosis so early on that he will have a pretty long honeymoon stage. He does get insulin at every meal. It is a super small amount at 1/4 of a unit for every 20 carbs he eats. (and since most doctors don't go into the 1/4 units that would be 1 unit for every 80 carbs. See I told you it was a small amount) He isn't using Lantus or any other long lasting insulin. If we weren't giving him insulin at meals though he would have a much higher A1c. There have been a few times that he has snuck foods and his blood sugar jumps up way high. So if we can just keep things going the way we are for awhile then we can take the stress off his pancreas and hopefully his honeymoon will last a little while longer.

We are ordering him a pump though. We hopefully will have it by the end of the month. He won't be using it just yet, but since we don't know what we are going to be doing about insurance at the end of the month we wanted to get it while it was paid for. That way we will be prepared for when the time comes that he will need it.

He is still learning to be brave. He really doesn't mind the finger pokes too much. But when it comes time to give the insulin shot he kicks and screams. It takes one of us to hold him and the other to give the shot. It hurts to have to do that, but someday he will get used to it. Then way later down the road he will understand that we do it to keep him healthy. He is starting to ask how many carbs are in foods though. It makes me laugh that a 2 year old thinks about that kind of stuff.

So there we have it. Another diabetes related post. Sometime I will be able to write about something else. Hey maybe I will post about Dude's new found talent! That kid is AMAZING! Stay tuned for that one, you will be blown away!

Happy Endo Appointment Day!

With two diabetic kids in our house this might as well be a holiday right? The day where our world of school, work, cleaning and playing stands still while we make the 2.5 mile trip to the Endocrinologist for the afternoon.

When it was just the Princess that was diabetic, going to the Endo caused enough stress for me to last a week. Worried about changes, what the doctor was going to say and then there is the DREADED A1c. OH THE STRESS OF THE A1C! And now there are two! Two A1c's to worry about!

How did I go from worrying about my hair, outfit or makeup to determine my self esteem to that crazy A1c number?

Well I tell you what. I am not going to worry today. Cuz' I know I am doing the best I can. I know November wasn't perfect. I was there when the Princess was so sick because of high glucose numbers with the lovely ketones that followed. I was also there when the Little Man was diagnosed with diabetes. And I even had to install a lock on the pantry door because I saw the effects of what my son's love of Cheerios has on his blood sugar when he sneaks a hand full of them. Our life flipped all around again this month and I just can't be expected to be perfect....right?

So this afternoon when I take the Princess and Little Man to see the Endo I am going to walk in there calmly. I am not going to get after the kids when they start playing with the window coverings, or taking out all the books. I am not going to get grumpy when the A1c's come back and they are higher than expected. I am just going to tell myself with every step out of the office and across the bridge to my car that I AM DOING THE BEST THAT I CAN! And leave it at that!

And maybe, JUST MAYBE we will come home and eat cookies. Just to prove that I am still in control.