I always took going to church every Sunday for granted. When I was a kid we always went as a family, there was never a question. As I got a little older the idea of church to me was so uncool, but seeing my friends there was really the only reason I went. Then I moved out of my house my senior year of high school. This was my freedom, so I thought, to stop going all together. My older sisters were trying to help me see what was important. They were trying to help me stay focused and by doing so they would come to my apartment some Sunday mornings and drag me to church. Honestly the best part of that was staying around for Sunday dinner. I no longer cared to go to church, it lost all importance to me. The reasons really are a topic for another time.
One day I realized I didn't know who I was or where I was going. After a lot of thought and tons of guidance I went back to the very same place that was so familiar to me, but with a brand new importance. The gospel was all the same, the spirit was still the same, and even most of the people was still the same. The only thing that made it so different was my perspective. I KNEW I NEEDED it! And boy did I! It changed my life and was truly exactly what I needed.
Now it is several years later and I am faced with a bit of a dilemma. You see I work for a job that requires me to work every Sunday. I have for a year and a half now and this is really getting to me. Sure I get to go when I am lucky enough to trade my shift or get the time off at the last minute, but most of the time it is uncertain if I get to join my family. The gospel is more important to me now than it ever has been. I feel I need it now more than ever too. To not be able to be there EVERY Sunday is killing me.
When I close my eyes and dream of a perfect Sunday I so clearly see the sight of my family going to church together. Sitting on the bench together and holding hands with my hubby. Even the idea of crayons spread over the bench seems perfect as long as we are all there. Then sitting in Relief Society with my BFF and all the other amazing women in the ward all learning, being uplifted and feeling the spirit. I smell the sent of dinner cooking and yummy treats baking after. Sitting on the couch watching a movie as a family then sending the kids off to bed to spend some alone time with the love of my life. Bliss!
I almost wonder how long it is until I can reach this perfect Sunday. But until then I am so grateful for the times that I am there. Today was almost this perfect. It was the Primary Program today and all week I didn't know if I was going to be able to make it. At the last minute last night someone traded hours with me. This allowed me to be able to go to sacrament to see the program. We sat on the bench behind my BFF and her parents, whom I was super happy to see again. My neighbor that has just started coming back to church again walked across the room to give me our daily hug, there is no perfect place for a daily hug. One of my young women that hasn't been to church in forever and who is really struggling came and sat next to me, I loved it! The kids knew their parts perfectly and sung their hearts out. I couldn't have been more proud. My dear friend in the ward that greets me every Sunday I am there with a hug and a "I am so happy that you were able to get off work to be here with us!" didn't let me down today. But to top off the entire experience my hubby found my wedding ring in his church bag. I thought over a month ago when I realized it was lost that it was gone forever!
You see I may not be able to go to church every Sunday, but the fact that I don't have the option has made me realize just how important it is to me. The times that I do get to go means so much to me. Those days always seem extra special. There will come a time that I won't have to work, but until then I am just grateful for days like today that are as perfect as perfect is going to get!