Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The anniversary

One year ago today I watched my daughter's life change forever.
Who knew the road that we were headed down was going to actually be more of a roller coaster?
One year ago today she found out that she had Type 1 Diabetes.
I think I have shed more tears in this last year than my entire existence combined. But on the flip side I think that we have grown so much in so many ways. We live day to day on faith that no matter what happens we will prevail. We always do. We wake up each morning grateful that we have been given another chance to experience all the ups and downs of life. Together.
Being a parent of a diabetic is not easy. After checking her blood sugar 10 or sometimes more a day every number I see translates to me as a glucose number. It's 53 degrees outside right now and to me that means we need a snack. The time says it is 9:08 but to me that means something has gone seriously wrong and we have to get her blood sugar down. My mind is programed to read everything as it would be diabetes related. Feeling like this is something only someone who takes care of a diabetic would understand.
~blood sugar checks all day and throughout the night.
~Carb counting
~weighing food
~insulin doses at every meal
~Being constantly hooked up to an insulin pump
~changing her site every 3 days with a needle that I am shocked that we are brave enough to use.
~always being aware of changes in her personality, mood, or the way she feels to correct for a low or high
~holding on to any treat or snack that she gets until a meal so she can eat it
~knowing what to do when she is sick to not have her end up in the ER again.
~checking ketones
~using needles to inject insulin when I can't use her pump
~Monthly doctor's appointments
~looking for patterns in her blood sugar to know if any changes need to be made.
~and for mom the first thing I do every morning is walk straight to her room to make sure she is still breathing and that nothing went wrong while I slept.
All of this is our life now.
If someone would have showed me a list like this over a year ago and asked if I think I could handle all that I would died. But guess what? We do it every day.
And I don't even mind because it means that I get to hold my princess and laugh with her and sing with her, and play with her, and learn with her, and cry with her. She is so much more than "that diabetic girl" It is a part of her life but it isn't all of who she is. For this time in our lives I am here to take the diabetes part of her life and make it just as easy for her to live out the rest of her life. I think we make a pretty good team.
Here's to the next 95 years of her having diabetes!
Happy D-anniversary sweetie! Your mommy loves your more than I think you will ever know! I am more proud of you each day, even when I don't think that it is possible. You are a strength to so many. I just pray that as you go through your life that you will know and understand just how important and special you are.
Now off to get my hands on some ice cream. I have thought about it and think that the last time we had ice cream diabetes tried to ruin it for us. We are going to battle it again and not let it win!

10 comments:

Wendy said...

Sniff...sniff...

Beautiful.

That's all I can say....you guys are doing a great job.

Enjoy that ice cream :)

*Amy* said...

I can't believe that it has already been a year. You are an awesome mom and I admire you for the way you have handled the things your family has had to endure.

:) Tracie said...

That is so true about seeing the numbers everywhere! How funny.

One year down, great job all of you!

phonelady said...

you are now an official d mom cause you so get it lol!!! we were d moms the day our babies got dxed with this dreadfull disease .

Meri said...

You did it! Easily one of the hardest years you'll ever have with D, and you did it! You are no longer a rookie! You and your family should celebrate...Ice cream sounds perfect...take that DIABETES!

Holly said...

It's funny how we don't know our own strength until we have to flex our muscles. You are one strong woman. It's easy to see where princess gets it.

Greg and/or Angie said...

We're right there with you. Our 1 year anniversary was 5 days ago. You put it well, what a change we've had to go through and how different "normal" is now.

Nicole said...

I could not even read your post the picture had me in tears....OMG!

RaCeNMoMmY said...

well said!! you are an awesome mommy, shannon, remember that always. my thoughts & prayers are always with your family. here's to another 95 years!!

Jennie said...

That picture just says it all! To think that our little ones will be at the mercy of hospitals and doctors to help them throughout their lives. It still upsets me to not have control over how I get to take care of my child. We were given a large orange binder full of detailed instructions on how and what to do. Who knew that we really would get a hand book on how to take care of our child. Reading all your blog entries is making me cry. We have so been there with you! Crappy insurance, medicaid and all!