"Yes, just as you said, I have F*#^ lost my mind! This is why they have padded all the walls in my office and are only letting me use sporks for now on."
"Let me just go ahead and pull this airplane out of my back pocket, put it in your route, and write your name on a seat. Will that fix your problem?"
"Didn't you know that it was my job to make you miserable?"
"No! I don't think you know how I feel!"
"Since when was everything free?"
"Sure lets hold together for another 45 minutes for my supervisor to tell you exactly what I just told you!"
"Miracles happen all the time, just not in New York's airspace!"
"I would be happy to pick up the phone and call Mother Nature and ask her when it is going to stop snowing. Do you have the number?"
"Is is really a good idea to try to check your boat engine as luggage? Is it REALLY that important?"
"I have said it a hundred times, they will not let you just go to the ticket counter with an expired passport and let you "talk your way" onto an international flight!"
"I can't give you something that isn't there. Sorry!"
"We don't have rules and regulations just so I will have something to do and you will have something to complain about. They are actually there for a reason."
"If you don't know how Daylight Savings works by now then maybe you should question where you have been for the last 70 years."
"I would be happy to tell you what time to set your alarm clock for, but it probably wouldn't help you get to the airport on time."
"I think you have more problems than not being able to assign a seat."
Can you tell that this last month of working has been SO MUCH FUN? I can not wait for February to be over with! Please let's pray that I don't have to keep working mandatory overtime into March too!