I think I found out the majority of why the Princess is running high so much in the last few days. I found one of her 15 carb snack bags on the floor today.....EMPTY. This could only mean one thing, someone ate it. I first asked her just to make sure. She came right out and told the truth. "Yes Mom, I ate it. I was hungry." My first reaction was to get mad, but I stopped myself. "Think of how she feels." I thought.
I asked her if she thought if that was a very good idea. She sat down on the floor in the hallway, put her head down and just said "It isn't fair Mommy."
I instantly started to cry (it is making me cry again just while typing it)
She is right it isn't fair!
I sat on the floor next to her. I grabbed her in my arms and we cried together. I told her how special she is and how proud that she told me the truth. We talked about how eating food without insulin can make her really really sick and that she needs to be extra careful. I promised that I will help it seem more fair.
What more can you say? This is one of the first times that she has rebelled (other than the time she drank a huge glass of milk after we got home from the hospital, but it was all new then. It wasn't rebelling.) I feel for her. I wish she didn't have to deal with this, but this was a trial she was given. She is entitled to break downs. Heaven knows I have had my fair share. I just wish I could make it better.
She admitted to doing it more than once. So my frustrations with diabetes really ended up being a sign that my little diabetic 5 year old was having a hard time. It still doesn't change how much I dislike diabetes. Seeing her struggle actually makes it worse.
After our cry we both felt better. Diabetes may not be what I wanted for her, but holding her close when she is crying? Now I will take that any day!