.........1140 or more to go.
So we have been dealing with Diabetes for exactly 1 month now. I totally feel like we are on a roller coaster. I am starting to wonder when we are going to get off.
Today to ring in the anniversary we have been dealing with EXTREME highs and lows. And when I say extreme she has been as high as 500 and as low as 50. I don't have any reasons to explain it. I am frustrated. I want to say that we have it all figured out, but as soon as we think we are getting it we get a day like today.
When we were in the hospital I remember one nurse telling us that the more organized our life is the easier it will be to control her diabetes. I have taken this to heart. We have taken one room at a time and scrubbed, de-junked, and organized it. I officially only have my bedroom left to do. I am really excited that we have done this. It really does make life easier. Set meal times are a must at our house too. I still have so much more that I want to do though. If anyone has any great ideas for ways to organize PLEASE SHARE!
Looking back on this month I feel that my little Princess has grown up so much. I still am amazed at her strength and how well she is dealing with all this. I feel so bad for her when she has her lows and she looks pale, has a tummy ache and is tired. My patience is tested when she is really high and I can't get her understand instructions, when she is irritable, and the times before bed and can't sleep because of the high. I understand that it isn't her fault, that is just how she reacts. I wish I could just kiss it and it will all be better. That her broken pancreas will start to work again and never fail her so she doesn't have to get any more pokes. Even though I feel all this emotion, I can look at her and she is still smiling. She is being effected, don't get me wrong. She tells me all the time she doesn't want to have diabetes forever. How is it that I have a 4 year old, that since birth has been afraid of the sight of her own blood and has been known to scream at any scratch big or small, be so brave when having to have 25 or so pokes a day? She still has never had a major breakdown about it all. This strength is heaven sent. I mean that! Her breakdown may come one day, and when it does come, I will be there to hug her, to love her, to let her cry or scream. She deserves it!
So to the last month of our lives....thank you. Thank you for the knowledge, the strength, the love, support, the family and friends, the challenges, the highs, the lows, the connections, the tears, the inspiration, all of it. If this has to be our new life than I accept it.