DUN DUN DUUNNNN (enter mysterious music here)
I was talking to my friend, NaTasha, on my home from taking the kids to the Endocrinologist yesterday and once she found out where I had been she asked "So was the 'Good Mommy' report ok today?" Let me translate, the only info she really knows about diabetes is what I have taught her. She knows how I feel about the kids A1c and how I automatically relate it to my self esteem. (more on why I do this in a minute) Her little joke about it being my "Good Mommy" report actually made me laugh, mostly because I had good news to report. Not that the appointment wasn't stressful, because it totally was, but their A1c's are not as bad as I had expected.
When I picked the Princess up from school and told her where we were going she almost instantly got grumpy. It came out of left field since she has always loved going to see Dr. Chad and Dr. Swinyard (They really are THE best doctors in the world. I can't say that enough!) She just pouted the entire way there, but when we walked into the office, she flipped out. Need I remind you that she is almost 6? A little too big (in my mind) to be throwing fits like this in public. Problem is though, she has been doing this a lot lately. Imagine this, we where at the bridal store with my sister in law looking at wedding dresses. A 5 year old girl's dream. Something didn't go her way and she ended up on the floor in the middle of the store kicking her feet and screaming and crying. I immediately tested her blood sugar and it was perfectly normal. I was shocked. I tried to deal with it the best I could and put her in a time out and talked to her, but it took her a good 15 - 20 minutes to calm down. Then a few nights later I was trying to get her to drink a glass of milk and she did the same thing. She even headbutted me and made my lip bleed. I went to bed so mad and confused. So in a small way I was happy the Dr. office could witness what was going so I could ask a few questions about it. Problem is though this terrible mood was picked up my my Little Man and he was throwing a fit too. By the time Dr. Chad came in to see us I was sitting in the room crying. We were all a bit of a mess. We talked for a bit and he offered some help. He said that it might be nothing more than her just throwing a fit...being moody. But it could be more (I agree and that is what I was afraid of) nothing major but just stress of life (a hem, is this not all my life consists of?) compounded with 2 kids being diabetic and all of us, including the kids, are in survival mode trying to cope with everything. Our family is just going through a lot right now. So he gave me a few numbers to social workers that deal mainly with families/kids/adolescence/ that have diabetes. He said to see if we can take the family in and find a way to all work through it. This may or may not be needed but I tell you what, I am more that willing to give it a try. I need a little fresh air and this just might be the only way I can find it so I am calling on Monday.
When Dr. Chad and I were talking he said "We all know that even under the stress of life you and your husband are doing a great job. We know this because 'Princess' A1c is 7.4 and 'Little Man's' is at 5.8." I was pretty excited to hear those numbers, but don't get me wrong the first thought that went through my head was "that is why I let the A1c's determine my self esteem because the doctor in a way does." Not that this is bad. For all he knows I could be at home letting my kids eat whatever they want and put on their log sheets whatever I want. The only true test is that darn A1c. Thankfully they are pretty good even after the longest and hardest 2 months of my life.
So we made a few changes with both kids. We all left with smiles mostly because the kids got candy and a toy and I got some help. It was a rough visit, but as NaTasha put it "It seems that it had to happen that way so you could find the answers that you truly needed." She is right!