Monday, February 04, 2008

In a slump.

Sometime I go through life just feeling like I am surviving, not really LIVING. I wake up, get kids ready for school, take kids to school, come home, shower, check my email, put baby down for a nap, pick kids up from school, make lunch, have a little down time with the kids, put baby down for another nap, try to get things done around the house (this is the time that I find myself most lazy actually) then I try to get some dinner done because hubby comes home, then we hang out for a bit and everyone goes to bed. But me. I don't sleep well these days. This is what I do every day. It rarely changes.
I have been blogging so much because it seems that it is my connection to the world. My phone never rings unless it is someone telling me that I forgot to pay a bill. (which has been happening too much lately) My hubby might call once a day. He is really busy at work. I check my email, but I rarely have any.
Where am I going with all this you ask? Well, I don't really know. I was feeling pretty crappy about myself and thought that I needed to get some of this out of my head. It has been a really hard couple of months for me. I have tried really hard to put on the happy face and pretend it is all just going to go away. Well, it isn't going anywere. I have the lowest self asteem that I have had in a long time. I feel that I am slowly loosing control of my surroundings.
I think about the things that I need to change to make things better, and it seems overwhelming.Where do I begin? I realize that without change we can never learn, and that in my case it is crutial that things change. I guess all I need is for someone to hold my hand and guide me through it all.

9 comments:

Aubrey said...

oh my goodness!!! Can I just say ditto to everything you just said. Can I copy and paste it into my blog? :) I think alot of it has to do with the winter, cold, snow. I dont really want to go anywhere so I am stuck in the house. My out is I go to aerobic 3times a week. If you would like you can join us. It helps a lot, you get to have fun, laugh and excersise. But I hope it gets better. Let me know if I can help.

Muncey said...

I'm sorry to hear you've been going through all of this lately.

Look at it this way, it's snowing today and what do snowy days mean to you?

Love you, Squirt.

Lace said...

Sometimes it's hard to make it through all the repetitive monotony. Everytime I walk by the computer I glance at my igoogle page to see if there's anything new in the blogging world just to have some outside contact...I hope you get feeling better! I have been enjoying all your updates and your cute stories!

TravelMama said...

I think we all have those times when we feel like that. One thing that has always worked for me... Let the kids skip school and your hubby skip work and go on a day trip together. Or do it on a Saturday. That has always done wonders for me!!! I promise it will help. Let me know if you need any ideas. I have tons!!

Kim said...

I agree with Lace. I get stuck in the mundane life...everyday there is something I wish I could get done, but never do. I am not sure what my deal is lately...laze is what I do the best. Hang in there, perhaps with the Spring (may it ever arrive) our happiness will return. Good luck! I'll keep you in my prayers

Robin and Stephenie said...

I think you may need a little sunshine.... and because it will be winter till we die, I am afraid, maybe you and a few of your friends should go tanning(it made me feel better in washington) and get a pedicure. Go for a day of just you. It will make you a better mom and wife.

Jenni said...

I feel stuck in the same slump as you. However, I think the tanning and pedicure idea sounds fabulous! Perhaps add some icecream into the mix. ;) Maybe would could take our girls out for a girl date sometime- enjoy some pampering together.

The Sweet Life said...

I think you need to call me and we'll go to lunch! That's always fun to do. Whenever I feel like that I get dressed up and go somewhere fun.
Shoot me an email at amsrobbins@gmail.com and I'll give you my phone number. Lunch is calling...or I also liked the pedicure and tanning ideas that were posted.

Reed Photographic said...

Tanning - it does work...even if you're like me and can't tan for your life. Maybe what you really need is to insert (even if by force) some time for adult contact. Personally, I find it so refreshing to get a day alone at home once in a while just so I can finish some of MY projects for once...instead of everyone else's. The sense of accomplishment and empowerment does wonders for the mood.