Are we any closer yet? Don't worry, I will try not be as long winded as I have been in Part 1, Part 2 and in Part 3. So many things happened in 2004, I am not sure how well that will work out.
2004- I honestly don't remember much about the beginning of this year except for being pregnant, working, having a cute little boy, and my hubby was working and going to school. We were really just trying to stay afloat. I was also pretty busy with my church calling in the Relief Society Presidency. (Man I loved that calling)
In Feb. Little dude turned 1 then 2 months later on April 28th my Little Princess was born. I couldn't believe that I had two such small kids, one boy, one girl. I remember sitting in the hospital with her and really feeling blessed. I hadn't planned to be pregnant, but I knew without a doubt that she was a special gift to us and that she was meant to be here. She even today such a joy and I learn so much from her.
I went back to work full time again after having my Little Princess and it killed me every day to wake up at 4:30 every morning to then work 10 hour days. It took everything out of me. I was tired, stressed, and unhappy that I couldn't spend more time with my family. The summer went on though and it never really seemed to get better. While trying to figure out what I cold do to better myself I realized that maybe I had Post Partum Depression. I went and talked to a doctor and got some help. And what a help it was, I really started to feel better!
That was until the end of August. I have mentioned before here about my friend Kirsten. You can read the full story about her here. She was killed in a car accident on her way home from a family vacation. Her death effected me more than anyone will ever know. I truly did shut down. It made me evaluate myself as a mother, as a wife. I cried almost every day for almost 2 years, and even still when I think about her I cry. Following her death and my life evaluation I could see the importance of being a stay at home mom.
I knew I needed more faith that things would work out financially but that is so much easier said than done though. Finally, after much trouble with this decision, my Hubby and I decided that I would quit my job and stay at home. October 15, 2004 was the last day that I worked full time. Quitting my job was what I needed, what my family needed. I really felt more free and less weighed down. I am grateful that I have been able to stay at home ever since. I did get a part time job at the mall. It was mindless and not too much trouble.
On December 9th, 2004 my sweet little baby girl that was only 7 months old fell off my bed and got her leg stuck between the rail and the mattress and broke her femur. While at the hospital the doctors and nurses where drilling me for hours to see if I was harming my baby and abusing her. At one point they even took her away from me and said that they will bring her back when they knew she wasn't being abused. She was gone from us for almost 2 hours, and when they brought her back she was cold and necked. They gave her back to me and said that they couldn't tell that she had been abused. DUH! I had been telling them that all day! To top off my year of struggling with myself and my abilities as a mother I now had doctors and nurses thinking that possibly I was abusing my child. That was hard for me. REALLY REALLY hard for me. It did work out though. She had to have a little, pink cast that went all the way from the top of her hip down to her ankle. It was so sad, she was just too little for something like that.
2005- This year things started to get better. Little Dude turned 2 and Little Princess turned 1. We spent most of this year just being a family. We were a little less stressed. I was still working part time at the mall and I had even picked up a few students to teach guitar to. I also started working with Holly more at Reed Photographic shooting wedding and stuff. She was teaching me tons and every time I would go to a wedding with her I knew this was something that I wanted to do.
That summer was so much fun! Being with my kids and my hubby was just what I needed to get out of my rut! Even with my hubby working an hour and a half away and still in school we were a happier family. Don't get me wrong it was still really hard on him. He was getting worn down and was starting to have some problems with his work. It was time for a change for him. He just didn't know what yet.